Thank You Winged Cloud.
The rest of this review is going to make that statement seem insincere, but I truly want to thank Winged Cloud for finally revealing who they really are. Honestly, we all should have known after seeing this lovely piece of promotional work for Pyrite Heart…then subsequently playing Pyrite Heart. But, with the Kickstarter for The Guardian Spell, some saw it as proof that WC (there has never been a more accurate abbreviation was a simple, ragtag troupe dedicated to providing sugary comfort food to the otome masses. And if that’s ALL they did, I’m sure many would still defend them today. But here we are and, as my Aunt likes to say, the truth has revealed itself. WC is all about one thing: fanservice. Regardless of your gender, they want to be your first stop for the finest in otaku wank material and not much else. Wait… does that mean they have come to closest to achieving gender equality in gaming? Screw it; let’s talk Sakura Spirit.
To be fair to the group, when Sakura Spirit was announced, no one was expecting The Shawshank Redemption with fox girls. No one ever pretended that was going to be anything more than an ecchi title in a similar vein to nearly every bad anime I’ve challenged myself to live-tweet in the past year (save for the endless black hole that is Brother’s Conflict). Because of this, I did something that I have never done before and will never do again: I lowered my expectations. I told myself that it was fine if it didn’t have the best story, or characters, or anything I usually find worthwhile about gaming as a whole. I figured that as long as I could enjoy it ironically and find some humor in the abundance of ways WC would undoubtedly find to show off their over-curvy females, I would just laugh along and rate it all accordingly.
That line of thought lasted approximately three minutes in game.
I will be very upfront with you; this game has gotten me in a ‘vendetta’ kind of mood. This is going to be a long one, but it is vital to get it all out, not just for the sake of my personal health, but also to make it clear just how this game managed to defy reality and not clear the low bar I had for it. There will be some spoilers here but, if that is something that honestly concerns you, may I remind you of the promotional art of this game?
Strap yourselves in folks. This is Sakura Spirit…may God have mercy on our souls.